the

Hell

Hell isn’t other people. It’s not the DMV, or being stuck in traffic, or traveling on an endless stinky subway. It used to be okay. Back when it was just us, and Hell was our little exclusive club. But then those downers had to go and start sending humans down here. Humans seem to think we demons exist to torture them, but it’s closer to the reverse. They get sent here to torture us. Everything we do is justified retaliation. So you wanna know what hell is really like? From what mortals tell me, a lot of it is like living in an American suburb.

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From the TSS Hermes (Clowe@terasco.gov). Subject: historic voyage my ass

It’s been three months since I bid you and our home farewell. As the Entanglement Drive engaged, and Sol, Earth and Luna vanished, dwindling into mere points of light, I think I could hear the captain breathe a sigh of relief. I do think she’ll miss home, but, as a vampire, I think she’s glad to be far away from our sun. I’m doing alright, but I’ve lost a few shifts to sporadic transformations. Frankly, I think the helmsman flies past full moons just to fuck with me.

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